Edward's Phone Call
by Julsgracie
Summary: “Bella,” I breathed into the phone. I stiffened immediately, astonished by the sound of my voice. Her name burnt my throat as I spoke it; as if it had been trying to wrangle it’s way back into the depths of my mind.
1. Edward's Phone Call

Edward POV. Takes place during New Moon when Edward calls Bella's house. In this story, Bella--instead of Jacob--answers Edward's call.

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Reviews are greatly appreciated!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Bella, or Edward. If anything, they own me. **

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"Hello?"

Her voice crushed me like a massive boulder, locking me into a frozen state against the wall. I couldn't move; I couldn't speak. The words I had been planning to recite to Charlie subsided, strangled in my throat. An odd numbness began flooding through me… calming, yet extremely painful, like millions of tiny pins were penetrating the surface of my skin.

I was an absolute fool. How could I have ever believed that it would be simple to _just_ hang up if it was she who spoke? I realized then why I was so unprepared; I had unconsciously assumed that Charlie would answer. Perhaps the truth was that I unsure that I could cope, so I avoided the possibly entirely. But I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't expecting _her_.

Damn it Cullen, focus. Bella is on the other line. _BELLA._

"Hello? Is anybody there?" Her voice sprung from the phone once again, stunning me like a fierce gasp of freezing air. It was wonderfully familiar, but somehow foreign, beholding an unrecognizable edge. Yet, the sound surfaced divine images of a past life, constraining me down a path that would resolve with none other than brutal loss and misery.

I focused, trying to calculate exactly how long we had been apart. Six…no, seven months. An eternity. Could it really be? It sounded impossible. I closed my eyes, praying that she would speak again.

"Hold on a sec, Jake, I want to make sure it isn't Charlie." I was too far gone to wonder why she would think my unidentified call would be Charlie. As far as I could remember, Charlie failed to have a record of not responding during phone calls. Some very small fraction of mind was still sane enough to be relieved that Rosalie's little declaration had been false. She was alive; _of course_ she was alive. There was always some unseen loophole with Bella…

I kept my eyelids closed, shielding me from reality. I pretended she was beside me, lying under the soft quilt of her bed, trying in desperation to restrain my mind from wandering to more realistic options. I wanted to stay in this state forever. It was harmless, really--she was unknowing, and I could listen to her.

But I knew that time would never be so gracious. The moments would tick by…

_Stop being ridiculous. _A small voice positioned in the back of my mind sighed, exasperated. _We've been through this, Cullen. You're just going to hang up. You're going to leave Bella alone. Leave her alone…listen to me, focus Edward, let her go… _

I could do it. I could go back to her. What was the point in constant fighting? My attempt was hopeless; what should have been an immediate decay. The only thing forcing me to resist the powerful desire of indulgence was my mere willpower. This entire internal conflict was so repetitive and familiar in my mind that that fact alone should have been enough to send me running back to Forks--to Bella.

All I would have to do is speak her name. She would know. This entire thing of living without her was obviously not working—I wasn't blind enough not to see that. Perhaps she had been suffering from my absence, as I from hers. It was possible, after all.

She would know that I loved her. Damn it, that I _needed_ her. How much longer could I survive, truly?

The fact that I had promised myself that I would hang up if Bella spoke was completely irrelevant right now. I stayed in the same position, crushing the phone against my ear, completely motionless. A small dent began forming in the back. I tried to stop applying pressure, wondering idly if I had brought a spare.

I felt a sharp twinge in my throat from not responding to her, my entire body aching terribly. Would the pain never end? Surely, somewhere there would be a point of appeasement from this torture. I was locked, trapped in an inescapable cycle of indecision and desolation…always painfully close to the one requisite of my exsistence.

Was she going to hang up? I couldn't very well call back…she was safe, after all…

The two sides of my mind battled relentlessly. I reminisced the first time I had met her, in Biology class. How her scent had pierced my throat, sending the two sides of my mind into a frenzy. Driving me to the point of escaping to Denali. I had abided then, I reasoned, I could do so again. I had stayed away from her for over half a year—I wasn't going to ruin her life now.

But then she spoke again.

"Charlie? Is that you?" The sweet, concerned whisper that now emerged snapped me back into reality. I had all but forgotten her existence on the other line, more lost in my tentative thoughts than ever before. Her voice sounded so much like when we were together…I smiled weakly, envisioning her standing in the quiet kitchen, holding the phone to her ear gently… beautiful Bella…

I gave up. I couldn't do it.

I took an unnecessary breath, feeling as if an immense amount of weight had been lifted off my body. The small voice in the back of my head panicked, screaming at me frantically—_You're going to regret this, Edward! Bella's life, remember, Bella's life…_ but I strangled it back, thinking of her hair, her eyes...

I parted my lips, not giving myself another moment to deliberate.

"_Bella_." I breathed into the phone. I stiffened immediately, astonished by the sound of my voice. Her name burnt my throat as I spoke it; as if it had been trying to wrangle it's way back into the depths of my mind. I couldn't believe I had actually responded to her.

I began to question if I had indeed spoken at all—perhaps my mind was on a brink, and I had only imagined the exchange. No, I resolved, I had definitely said her name.

I anticipated hopelessly for her response, quivering slightly. _You better hope she didn't hear you, Cullen. You're going to mess this up big time. _Would she even recognize my voice? It has been so long… Would she hang up right away, angry because I had broken my promise? I waited for the inevitable dial tone, trying to get a grip on my emotions.

God, where was Jasper when you needed him? Actually, it was probably a blessing he wasn't here with me, seeing as his mind would undoubtedly combust if presented with my current emotions.

The silence began to break. I heard heavy breathing on the other line, and then abruptly, a distant, unfamiliar voice reaching the phone from somewhere in the room. "Bella, hang up already. It's not him." A pause. "Sheezh Bells, are you okay? Bella!"

The sound was so quiet even I could barely make it out.

"Ed-Ed…" I could practically hear her heart beating through the phone.

"Edward?" My own name sounded oddly unfamiliar to me. It didn't sound anything like it once did in her voice-- it was wrecked, distorted, choked with disbelief and anguish. But I knew nothing could be helped if I hung up now. She had heard me. I wouldn't be surprised if she loathed me entirely; I had been horrible to her. This was a mistake; I was a mistake. Why couldn't I just leave the poor girl be? Why must I continue poisoning her life?

And terribly enough, I felt the happiest I had in months; light and airy, like a feather that had finally caught a breeze after lying dormant for an impossible amount of time.

"Bells—honey, what's wrong, what—who's on the phone?!"

I could still hang up. No more good could come out of this, regardless. I had done enough. I had every reason to hang up. Bella deserved better than me. I knew this, I knew…damn it.

I didn't _want _to hang up. I wanted to hear her voice again. I wanted to listen to the beating of her heart—so alive, so real. I wanted to stroke her soft, long mahogany hair. There was no one like her in the entire world. I wanted to go back to that time when we were together… I wanted to place my lips along the soft, warm skin of her neck—

I was only torturing myself with those images. Since when had what _I_ wanted meant anything? No, it was her sake that was important, not mine. All I had ever done was twist and mangle her existence. I was a _disease_. And I sure she had fallen in love with another. She couldn't still love me. She would never come back to…

No, of course not. If she was in love, she was in love. I couldn't even think like that…

She waited. "…Edward?" She seemed to be questioning herself rather than me.

Nothing could be helped now. I sighed in defeat, trying to suffocate the emotions of jubilance and hope surfacing.

"It's me, Bella."

I heard a fierce intake of breath on the other line. More than ever, I wished I were there, with her. That I could hold her tender body in my arms. She was so…breakable. Like a soap bubble. Fragile_. Beautiful_. I wanted to hold her…

Protecting her.

But from what, really?

Myself?

A strange noise was streaming through the speaker now. Had she dropped the phone? Who was yelling?

"Who the hell is this?!" It wasn't her anymore; it was the young man's voice. But I heard her, in the background. She was shrieking.

"JACOB! JACOB GIVE ME THE PHONE!"

Why was she responding this way? Was it because she didn't love me anymore? Because she was frightened, thinking I might return and harm her? How could she suspect that!

The young man's voice came again, and I tried to pay attention.

"WHO IS THIS?"

I didn't bother to disguise my voice. What was the difference? "Would you please return the phone to Bella?" I said, frustrated. Who was this boy holding the phone? Who did he think he was? I need to talk to her, to see if she was okay. _I needed to talk to her._

I heard more commotion and then, amazingly, Alice's voice. Hearing her made the entire situation a million times more real. She was there. In Forks.

_"Bella?"_

"Stay back," the boy was saying. Bella was screaming. She was undeniably heaving herself towards where the boy held the phone.

"EDWARD!" She shrieked.

"WHO IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS?" It was the boy again, the strain in his voice was evident—he was probably restraining her from reaching the phone.

_Why wasn't he letting her talk to me?! _

"Of give it a rest, Jacob. That is my brother on the phone, and if you don't mind, I would like to speak with him." There was a pause of silence. Finally, Bella's voice rang through my ears again. Frantic.

"Alice, _please_—get it away from him!"

"Give me the phone, Jacob." Alice's voice was calm. I wish I could hear what she was thinking. Damn it, I wish I could see what was_ happening_. Was this boy in the kitchen the same Jacob from the prom? From the Quilette Tribe?

Where was Bella?

He spoke again, to Alice this time. "Why should I?" His voice was thick with anger, the tone mocking. There was more turbulence. "Holy--!" The direction of his voice changed, and I tired to keep up. "Jeez, Bells, you're going at me like you're ready to stab me with a knife!"

_"I WILL if you don't give me that phone right now!"_ Her tone was icy, burning with fury. "So help me Jacob, I will never look at you again for the rest of my life! I will never speak to you again, never think your name again unless you hand me that phone RIGHT NOW!"

All was quiet. I didn't move a muscle—I was impeccably frozen. I watched a tiny spider slowly creep up the wall facing me. Its legs were as tin and fragile-looking as dental floss.

I expected to hear Alice chime in then, or perhaps Jacob with another comment. There were footsteps and the sound of a door banging shut. And then, suddenly Bella was whispering into the phone. "Edward? Edward?"

"Yes Bella, I'm here." She was sobbing again. The sound melted every part of me.

"Where, Ed…Edward, where are you?" A door creaked.

"Bella, what should I do about Jacob?" It was Alice. Damn it, couldn't she let me speak to Bella for just one _second_?

"Wait—" Bella's tone was frightened and desperate. "Please, oh please Alice, one minute—"

"Bella, that dog is about to blow—" That _dog_? What the heck? How was the dog going to _blow_? "We have to get rid of him now and I shouldn't be so close…"

Bella spoke very quickly, her voice turned slightly away. "Tell Jacob to leave. I can't deal with him right now. Tell him I'll call him soon, to just calm down."

"I'll try, Bella." The door closed again.

"Edward? Are you still there?" Her voice was no more than a whisper.

"Yes, Bella."

"Oh Edward! Where are you? Are you okay? What, when--"

I couldn't think straight enough to make up lies. I organized my thoughts, trying to reel my mind in from going into an unstable state.

"I am somewhere in South America, love." My own special nickname for her sounded lovely. Fitting. She drew in a breath; I assumed from the newly acquired information concerning my where-abouts. I wondered what conclusions she would draw over that. "I am fine. Are you okay?"

She didn't sound okay and I was truly concerned, not just being polite. But when did I ever have to pretend with Bella?

"Edward, Edward…I am, I am fine."

I heard voices outside the room, downstairs I supposed, speaking angrily. Then a door slammed.

"Bella? What was happening before? You sounded…" I leafed through my mind for the right description.

But she responded quickly. "I was just…just amazed. In shock. And Jacob was holding the phone away, and I…" She drifted off.

Of course she was amazed. She thought I was never going to return, never going to bother her again. She thought I would keep my promise, yet here I was.

She cleared her throat, suddenly sounding very hesitant. "Before…you called me…"

"Yes?" Was she talking about something that had happened before she answered my call? Or something I had _called_ her?

"You said…you said…" She stuttered.

"Bella? Love?"

The stuttering stopped abruptly.

"There—you just…" I was so confused…what was she talking about? "Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Edward…" She paused. "Are you going to…I mean, will you…" I knew what she was implying.

I took a deep breath. There was no time for unsolved conflicts with the responsible, the sensible side of my mind now. There was no time for anything. There was nothing but Bella. _This is your last chance, _the voice reminded me. _You can't go back after this. You better not do it, Edward. You better not. STOP, don't do it, DON'T_—

"Bella, I love you. I never stopped loving you. I want you, Bella, I always will, " I spoke unsure, wondering if I had said too much. I didn't want to make this difficult for her.

"…But only, only if there isn't someone else."

She didn't say anything for a moment. Perhaps she was surprised. After all, she had believed me impeccably when I told her I didn't want her. No, no. She must be weighing her options. She was probably in love already. Mike Newton? I considered it, but decided it must be the Jacob character. He had always fancied her…I scowled, remembering.

She is probably in love already.

She is probably trying to decide how to tell me.

"Edward," she finally said. I couldn't decipher her answer by the way she spoke my name. I needed to know this…maybe it wasn't too late to turn back…

"Bella, are you happy? Do you want me to return? I will, but only if you want me, too. Only if you can forgive me and still love me after all I have done to you."

"Edward." She breathed.

I waited silently, counting the seconds. An internal clock ticked in my head.

"There will only be you, _always_."


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone!

I'm posting this to let you all know that the sequel to _Edward's Phone Call_ is titled _Now or Never_ and is posted with two (very short) chapters up already. Hopefully some of you will check it out.

Also:

Eventually, I'll be posting another one of these annoying author's notes to inform everyone that _Edward's Phone Call_ was revised. I'm going to be changing parts of it significantly, and I believe that—if you liked it the first time—it will be worth reading again to check out the new parts.

Thanks!!


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